...newly me...

...i'm aiming to be back to the oldest nadya shaharum..who loves to smile, knows how to be happy, colourful, laugh laugh laugh....starting from today...here i am ;)

...relief from what i've been through...wish to feel good in a very long-term..my darl : tq for ur support..yeah!! finally i've got an idea to be a new me which i love so much ;)

dear diary : ..victory ford..

last night episode of lipstick jungle can be considered as a nightmare in victory ford's life...till i pun terjebak meraung mcm victory juga..huhuhu...pain deep inside her...

Me and victory ford are the same (in my perception)...

Victory ford fall in love with joe bennett but she kind of confused with her relationship with him..She met someone, rodrigo and she felt for him...at the same time, joe still had the strong feeling into her, because of man's ego...he made her jealous and confused...victory pun jual mahal la kan...back to rodrigo, hmm...i dont understand why he left victory...she needs him anyway...okla what i can say, victory ford is not a playgirl.. she just needs someone to love her, cares for her..just like what those guys had given to her before...they gave her hope for the successful end up relationship...but then...after she's truly madly deeply in love with them, those guys left her, just like than...dear victory, i know how does it feel...hurt..

Victory ford has 2 BFF- nico and wendy..they always hang out together, share lots of thing, sincere among them and keep telling the truth..encourage and support each other...however, when it comes in "love or relationship issues"...her BFF couldn't help..she was alone..suffering from tears...try to find the answer by herself...one thing for sure, her BFF will advise her to talk to those guys personally to get the answer...oh come on..it wasn't that simple...but she's a strong lady even she's kind of manja a lil bit...when she's got her confident to confront with those guys, she was expecting for the great feedback, but...she had been rejected...i know her BFF always support her, but deep inside her, she needs someone who really can support her...

Victory ford is such a perfect lady..she's hot, beautiful, has a great personality, adorable, and has her own style..but then, she still couldn't get the happiest moment in her life ~ in relationship...I'm not as perfect as victory...but people might says "come on nady, tkknla u takde bf kot..tipula...mesti u yg memilih ni"..........oh please!! dont u ever try to judge me that way if u dont even know me...ok, i'm choosy..but hey!! for the right person la kan...i'm desperately want to be in loved but, i have a right to choose..i mean, tkkn i nk grab anybody mcm tu jek...

Back to victory ford stories...we're facing the same situation...our love life isn't as victory as her name...dear victory, no matter what...as usual, we need to push ourselves to be strong (not that easy..heh!!) ~lesson learned~ guys out there...how could you hurt womens' feeling...i know that love can't be forced...u can avoid if u think that she's not for u...guys, always give hope...then, when we fall for them, suddenly, he realise that "oh, this is wrong, we're not belong together"....OMG...mmg pemusnah!!!

-THE END-

dear diary : .......blank...........

i'm ok...no no no..i'm not ok....eh no la...i'm totally fine....wey!! dont lie ok!! u're not ok nadya...u're not!!!!!!!!!! gosh!!! i'm ok la...trust me!!! come on...u're dying inside la babe...u keep on smiling but...hey!! i'm fine fine fine!!! shut up...u're just pretending that u're ok...arghhh!!! please, believe me, i'm fine..can't u see that?? hahahahaa...dont you ever think that i'm so stupid to know that u're not ok!!!!!....stop saying that!! i'm ok...i can keep on laughing like i always be....U'RE NOT OK...that's the fact, u can't lie....

ok ok ok...stop!!!! i dont know how to tell what am i feeling right now...when i'm working, i'm totally fine...when i'm home...here it comes......STATIC...SILENCE...KEEP ON THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................untill i'm tired to think about it anymore...i'll stop but it will never end......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

-THE END-

dear diary : him

i had a dream last night...i met someone who i'm not expected i'll meet...to me, he's just someone who will always be noted in my history of life...he's the one and only person that i really admire till today...i cant easily forget about him...i think he's the first perfect person i had met (how can i describe him that ways cos i dont even have a chance to get to know him or even be his friend)...all i know, i just analyse him from the outside, deep inside him, i dont know...even people can says " dont judge a book by its cover"...but..i already did it...

Dreamed of him, makes me think about my past...9 years ago when i first started to admire him...admire in a different way..he's my inspiration to be the best in everything that i'm doing...i know him from my tuition class with cikgu Adibah Amin (one of the best author, saterawati negara)...what i like the most about this guy, he always read a dictionary..i said...read..not refer...he read it likes he read a novel...from one page to another...first time in my life, i have seen this kind of person...therefore, i aim to be the best even i'm not from the successful school & i'm not the excellent student..what i need the most is to work hard than the others...

i remember one thing, we had been friend (can i consider that as a friend...maybe you can judge from my story)...here's the story : after school, we had kept in touch through phone, cos at first we're planning to organise a farewell party with cikgu Adibah...but it didn't happen...after SPM results, i went to UiTM for interior design course and he went to UTP (chemical engineering)....then, i haven't heard any news from him...but i dont know, everytime when i remember his name (even just a name)...i will feel weird...undescribable...

today, after the dream (last night), i try to search for him through facebook..yeah!! got it....but...he's married with a wonderful woman and has 2 children..a pair of boy and girl...adorable...so what more can i say..he's happy now...i dont understand...i dont want him...to be honest...but i feel so horrible...when i think about it back...i guess, i'm just being upset because i still cant have that kind of happy life..happy with my career...happy with my family...but to be happy in this one thing...hmm...i'm still blur to tell...what i want is to meet the right person that i can share everything...just like him...i'm not stopping from searching for my him...but i dont have a clue at all...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

-THE END-

dear diary : continue bad days stories & weekend with diniah shaharum ;)

last entry i'd shared with you the bad days of me 1st march till 3th march. i thought that might be the last "bad" stories...it had been continued till 4th march..heh!!

BAD DAY
thursday, 4th march : my sis called me, told me a surprise that she wanted to come here..OMG!! i'm so happy...yeah!!! you know what...after work, i went to "terminal sri iskandar"...fisya, u know how terrible the services are..heh!! the person who conduct the ticket counter..i want to buy a ticket for my sis...i was queuing..3persons was in front of me...that "kakak" was so lembab...i boleh sabar lagi...takpe2...till my turn, i asked her, ticket to penang, she said " gi penang takdela dik"..hanginnye i..cos almost half an hour waiting for my turn, there's an iklan "penang 9.30am, 11.30am, 2.30pm"...how come i won't get angry with that "kakak" yg dgn muka slambe jek tu.

luckily night of 4th march, i'd a history class (another group)...as usual, i gave a lecture happily with my lovely student ( i've got a great respond for them..hee)...Then i got back home, thinking of some plans for my sis

GREAT DAYS

lets share something special...last friday, my sis were here(seri iskandar, perak)...she's in penang ( usm final year student : sains farmasi..heh!!)...when your family are around...eventhough only one of them, you will feel great!! i think all of you will feel the same as me...undescribable moment!!

nadya shaharum and diniah shaharum (girly style for today..heh!!)

nothing much we had done and we didn't go anywhere except UTP and bandar universiti..hahaha...the greatest moment...we was talking and talking and talking and gossipping lots of stories..watched our fav tv programmes, ate ice cream, etc...

my bro in UTP..but, he kind of bz this weekend, can't join us...but we managed to meet him on saturday, he came to my home, we had lunch together, ate my homemade "ayam masak paprik"...heee..lauk yg agak "diam" cos tak pedas..hahahahaha

one thing about seri iskandar, on saturday : astro organised an event :gempak DESA astro...you see the word DESA...terserlah betapa terpencilnye seri iskandar ini...heheheheh....but i still love seri iskandar ok!! we're not interested to attend the event, even there was a mini concert (anuar zain wasn't the there..heh!!)..one other reason, cerekarama showed the great drama with the hottest "hero malaya" : fahrin ahmad and my lovely actress :sharifah amani, DALIL CINTA...great drama but the ending was so typical malay drama..heh!! but i still love that drama...cos of the "brutal" character of amani and the coolest of fahrin..hmmm...

i slept early (12am)..heh!! my sis as usual, even she's here for a holiday, she still the "ulat buku" darl...brought all her books, notes...heh!! so she slept really late, 3-4am..heh!!

i've told you, my sis is the "ulat buku" darl...heh!!



this is how she studies, "tanda" here and there...heh!! tabik gile!!!

sunday, it's time to send her back to penang...huhuhuhu...i'm feeling lost...having her around for 3days were amazing moment ever....huhuhuhu....i want meet you again babe..very soon!!! bye2 i miss you lotsssssssss....

bergambar jek keje..heh!!

while waiting for the bus, i ate my fav childhood "jajan"~choki-choki, rania's fav too..heee

this bus "naik selalu" was responsible to send my sis back to penang..watch closer to the photo : you can see how happy my sis was cos she's so proud with the name of the bus...hahahahaha

what am i doing while waiting for tomorrow (back to work) : facebooking, blogging, eating and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..heee. dont forget to watch for the final of RAJA LAWAK 4...go idlan go idlan go idlan..heeee

-THE END-

dear diary : bad days

i dont know what am i thinking right now...3days of March, i'm kind of lost...i'm not as happy as usual. i'm laughing at the outside but deep inside me, i kind of silent~static...no feeling at all. what's happening to me?? i wish for a miracle tmrw. everything i do, i'll not satisfied at all. i give a lecture & crit my students' works as always..but the feeling was different. i've just called my mama (usually when i feel something "tk btul" i call my mama, then i'll feel much better) but this time, it's still the same...i still can't get it..WHY??

what's make me feel more badly :

1-my notebook, difficult for me to open it properly, i've got to restart it again and again till i've got stress..heh!!

2- fisya's vase (outside my house) had been broken..i dont know how it could happen...i think the kucing had done it..argghhh!!

3- i asked a wireman to install the ceiling fan (summer in perak..heh!!)..but when i want to open the fan, i've got to open the lamp first..OMG!! tersangatla bertauliah that wireman..arrgghh!! tmrw, he'll fix it..huh!!

4- i'd just gave a lecture (my fav subject~history of art & architecture) at TEC room, then the "tekan2" thing ( i know the name of it..heh!!) but the function of it is to connect the computer with the projector and the screen, i can't use it..gooshh!!! i "ketuk" that stuff then alhamdulillah it's worked...tengah i show gile bg lecture, suddenly the computer was hanged..arrrghhh!!!! luckily, my student make me calm down and very supportive..i restarted it back and keep on talking and talking and talking..fuhhh!!

this week, 5pm i'll pack my stuffs and go back...usually, i can stay in the office till 6-7pm and do my works....what was happening to me!!!!!

so, i would like to share some of the theraphy when i get back home ;)

watch my fav tv shows :

wed 10pm @ starworld

tues 9pm @ starworld

tues 10pm @ starworld

saturday 9pm @ travel & living

sunday 9pm @ astro prima..heee!! not bad la..

still waiting for the new season of desperate housewives, gossip girls and ugly betty....please 8tv @ STARWORLD, invest more money to get all these tv series...i need it!!!

while i'm watching the tv, i'll pamper myself with this lotion (my new fav one)..smell so good ;)

3 days i've been borrowed celcom broadband from my bro (tq shahir)..lots of thing can be done..facebooking, blogging..heeeeeeeee....

-THE END-

dear diary : me, myself & i

i am a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter,

a niece, a cousin, a friend,

a teacher, a student,

a young lady, a grown woman.

i am confident and scared

terrified and excited

i am loving and caring

thoughtful and hopeful

i am sick and tired

i am shy and friendly

i am careful and careless

i am hardworking and determined

i am sensitive and emotional

i am soft and hard

i am listening and sharing

i am alone and silent

i laugh aloud and cry my tears

i smile on the outside and i'm dying on the inside

i listen to others who won't listen to me

i am everything and nothing all at once

i belive in true love but i still couln't find one

i love you as you are

and all i want is for you to love me

is that possible??

-END-

dear diary : you're a mystery

...suddenly you come again...after you've been missing for a long time...how could i analyse anything from this situation..."you come & go" as simple as that..so, who am i to you?? just another "station" you want to drop by when you need someone to talk to...for how long you want to keep it this way??...why it's been so difficult to me.."Ya Allah, why all of this happen to me...please show me the way to find my destiny of life...AMIN"...

i want to share something that i love the most...from my fav artist, alicia keys (soulful & sincerity)..

alicia keys : "tell you something"

guess i'm caught up everyday

tryin to keep it all together

while the time just slips away

see i know nothing lasts forever

imagine there was no tomorrow

imagine that i couldn't see your face

there'd be no limit to my sorrow

so all i can say

i wanna tell you something

give you something

show you in so many ways

cuz it would all mean nothing

if i don't say something

before it all goes away

don't wanna wait to bring you flowers

waste another hour

let alone another day

i'm gonna tell you something

show you something

won't wait til it's too late

i can't wait, i can't wait, i won't wait, i don't wanna wait

i can't wait, i can't wait, i won't wait, i don't wanna wait

i won't wait til it's too late

just a simple conversation

just a moment is all it takes

i wanna be there just to listen

and i don't wanna hesitate

imagine there was no tomorrow

imagine that i couldn't see your face

there'd be no limit to my sorrow

cuz there is nothing that can fill this space

i don't wanna put it off for too long

i didn't say all that i had to say

i wanna take the time to right the wrongs

before we get to that place

just lean on my shoulder

it's not over til it's over

don't worry 'bout it

cuz i'm gonna make sure our bond gets stronger

yeah i don't wanna wait until the storm

there's something wrong and now you're gone

and i can't find ya

-END-

dear diary : full of loves

...Friendship...

When time goes by..days by days..you will meet different kind of people..when you know someone, automically they might be considered as your friends..That's mean everyday you will have a new friend..No matter if you've got a thousand of friends, only a few of them can really get close to your heart...

Let me introduce to you my dearest bestfriends who i can't live without them...I've learnt so many things from them... and what i love the most; they will always be there for me in tears & happiness..

...my darl, fisya fadzil...

The most wonderful friend i've ever had..She knows how to make me happy..I'm the sentimental type of person (very sensitive..hee) & always "gelabah" when something happen in a sudden (walaupun tkdela teruk mane pun bende tu)...she's the one who can stands on me & such a great listener..she's the one who change my perception of cooking (before this i hate to cook) but now, i'm so in love with cooking...(i'm still learning to be a pro..heee)..sometimes i think that she's sacrifice so much for me...such a calm person, that's why when i "hangin semacam jek", she's the one who knows how to make me calm down for awhile...fisya, i know u'll always "pok pok" me to make me feel better...she the great map sketcher...i'll arrive safely to the destination..great!!

...my KAK CHA...

For me, she's my sister...i feel like i'm so "manja" when i'm with her...(i yg perasan..heh!!)...the tallest ever..i mmg kalahla kan..hee...

my xoxo, nanna

She the super duper caring type of person...care for me all the time...i'll always refer to her when i'm stressful with works & some other things..heh!! when to her office "knock knock knock"...the gossips begin...heee....xoxoxoxo...monday & wednesday "our marketing day"...fav menu : nasi kerabu ayam..yum yum...then "lepak"ing session @ nannna's home sweet home till nite...(i slalu sibuk gi umah nanna..ciyan nanna kene lyn i..heh!!)...she the guru to me : she's the one who making me fall in love with edward twilight (gosh!!)..she makes me addicted to air jambu special (i jek sorg yg tk tau psl air tu..satu msia dh tau dh sebenanye..so lambt..heh!!)...when the class is over (freedom for awhile for the whole lecturers)...me & nanna have a breakfast date..yeah!!...this is the time we can demand for the best nasi lemak @ klasik & the best roti canai @ anje...heh!! heaven ok!! She's in Yemen now..huhuhu...can't wait to meet you again...

...we love...

shopping

...sushi...

...frappucino...

i feel full of loves when they're around me...i really want to hug each one of you right now...no matter how far we are, 3 of you always in my heart..always!!

muahzzzzzzzzz

...THE END....

the memoirs of childhood

It's a holiday (not so holiday..heh!!) It's time to spend the whole weeks with my family. That's what i love the most. Let me share something with you. Last week, ayah had been admitted at hospital for 5days (gosh!!). Alhamdulillah, he's getting better now. I'm still worried about ayah, what can i do, it's time to get back to Perak (lots of works need to be settled...huh!!). Being the eldest in family is really challenging. Now i know, how tough is it to be an adult. Alhamdulillah, i'm used to it (even there's a few thing i need to be more alert next time). Put a side about this topic (seems so serious..heh!!)

Me, my sis & mama have got a chance to be a babysitter to 2 little kids that make us "tak keruan" .Always want to meet them & see their development (i've learnt about children development for my undergraduate thesis). It might be good to apply it..(ilmiah sikit..hehehe). Eventhough, it's just a one day experience, it was awesome (learn to develop my motherhood skill..hmmm).

Let me introduce to you,

.....mia marissa zulkifli.....

an energetic darl ;)
Paklang & aunty lina came early in the morning to send her (tq for the breakfast..i don't know why paklang & haziq are so addicted with mee pak hasan..heh!!). At first Mia was so fine. She's smiling & hugging her maklong (my mama). Right after her parent left, she's crying so loud. I was so panic (i always like that, gelabah jek..heh!!). After all, she's fine. Playing around tak hingat dunia..heh!! What i love the most bout Mia, she knows how to make herself happy. I can consider she as the creative darl. Her character, tomboyish yet manja..hee. I love that.

....rania allysha zuri azrin....

sweet like a princess ;)

This lil darl ok with us. We have been her babysitter for a week at Nenek Timah's home sweet home before she came to our house. When she arrived, kind of forgot about her mama. Nak pancing this darl, so easy. Just open channel 104 sehati berdansa, she will leka & dance around (konon2 samala mcm sazzy...hahaha). She love music so much especially lagu2 budak2 AF (i dont understand why..heh!!). The funny thing is, when she hear Stacy's song -pakai buang...she will says "papapapapa"..which part yg "papapapa" tu pun i tk tau...heh!! She is so "perempuan melayu terakhir"..sopan sgt2..when she speaks, uiishhh my brother boleh cair ok...hahahaha (his fav baby anyway). She has gone to pre-school even she's only 2years old (nk bg cerdik ckp mama dia...heh!!). My sweet lil darl ;) me, my sis dina & my bro shahir miss her so much..At one time, my sis want to get one of her cloth (nk buat peluk masa tidur..bg ilang rindu..hahaha) so sengal!!

I want to share some photos of this 2 lil darls during their day in my house

.....eating time.....

kalau dh namanya cucu atok kasim & nenek timah mmgla tk sah kalau tk mkn..

.....outdoor games....
football maniac..heh!!

.....membaca budaya kita....

the best part, when i snapped this photo, mia was looking at the gossip of ida nerina...kecil2 dh pandai gosip eh..heee

.....uno stacko.....

.....mari mewarna....

rania tunjuk skill yg dia belajar kt pre-school la tu..heh!!

....lepaking session....

....sleeping beauty....

syoknya tidur, it's my time for facebook session..heh!!

Those are Rania's stuffs..I dont know why her mama (my acik) had to bring this 3 bags even she's just staying in our house half of the day..heh!! Baju jek 5-6 helai.When i be a mama, i'll know why..heh!! i guess..

Love this lil darls so much ;)